Squirrels

David and I are trying our hand at survival landscaping this spring. Our yard looks like junk. Our trees need to be trimmed, our lawn treated and weeded, and our flowerbeds redone. I’d love to rip out the bushes in front of our house and plant small flowering trees. I’d love to mulch and put in a new walk to the front door. I’d love to bury the sump pump hose that sticks out from behind the little evergreen tree in front of our picture window, so that it’s not sitting in the middle of my garden, spilling rainwater out onto our driveway. But we can’t afford (and don’t have time for) any of that right now. Hence the “survival landscaping” mode. I weed, I rake, and I try to clean things up and plant little things here and there to at least brighten the site. And it pays off. Today D walked off with BOTH sets of car keys, and so a coworker had to pick me up. When she came to the front door, she told me the house was looking really good. Score. Yay for small victories.

That said, I have to tell this story. Backtracking just a bit.

After my morning shower I wandered out into the living room to open the curtains and let the morning sun into our chilly living room. I looked down at our newly planted geraniums and impatiens, feeling rather pleased with myself, and noticed not one, but four squirrels playing by our front door. Now, we have a lot of squirrels in our neighborhood, but four on our front stoop is rather much. I watched them for a minute, and saw them scamper through our little garden in front of the picture window. “Are they eating my flowers?” I gasped, seething a bit inside. I watched some more. The four of them scampered up the branches of that tiny evergreen tree, rocking the little thing back and forth with all their antics. “What is going on?” I wondered. I kept eyeing them, waiting for one to chomp on a flower.

But then they ran down the tree. I felt a modicum of relief. One squirrel, a chunky black one, took off and hid under my car. Another squirrel, a brown one, paused on the sidewalk. But, to my horror, the other two squirrels went racing up the thick black sump pump hose, rocking and rolling around inside it. Up and down they ran, enjoying their own personal playground. And then it hit me…

Can a normal sized squirrel squeeze into a 2-inch PVC pipe?

I really don’t want to be calling the plumber to remove drowned squirrels from our sump pump.