Back in the (Blogging) Game

Or trying, at least.

I won't even try to explain where I've been since September. I don't know. But here I am now. Aren't you so glad to see me?

I like being domestic.Maybe my more liberal-minded friends will roll their eyes at this, but I love being a stay-at-home mom. I wish I was better at it. The past few days have been remarkably productive. I'm always so proud of myself when I'm organized and busy around the home. I've planned menus for two weeks - and actually cooked them. I've baked cookies (oatmeal chocolate chip - spectacular!) instead of stocking up on store brands. I've organized closets and basement storage. I've done what feels like a billion loads of laundry. I've written thank-you cards. I've been working on stuff for our young moms' ministry at church. I feel like the Proverbs 31 woman - "she considers a field and she buys it". I'm not buying any fields, of course, but you know if there were any available around here, I might have considered one this week.

Seriously, you should be proud of me.  It's not always that way. There are many days I just want to stop and take a nap when Abigail does. And since I'm 22 weeks pregnant, I usually do. But the energy I've had the past few days has been nice. It makes me wish that I had more of those domestic skills. Like sewing, for example. The panel in my maternity jeans tore the other day, and I realized we had NO needles or thread in our house. How is that possible? I had to go to the store and search out one of those little sewing kits, just so I could mend that hole. Now I need to figure out how to actually do it. I don't really know how. The tear is on the stretchy part, right by the seam. So, really - how do you sew it closed? Any suggestions?

You Are What You Eat

I am suddenly surrounded by people who are fixated on food. Specifically, fixated on how to eat organically, healthily, & humanely. People who search out hormone-free milk that comes from grass-fed cows. People who want to buy chicken that comes from birds who are allowed to walk around outside before they are... well... made edible. People who compare the prices of organic produce at Trader Joe's vs. Whole Foods.

I'm not making fun of any of these people - I respect my friends for the choices they are making. I actually admire them for being so knowledgeable and passionate in their convictions. But I'm also rather fascinated by the situation. I am literally surrounded by friends who feel deeply that the humane purchasing (and eating) of your food is a deeply serious - and possibly moral - issue. (I can't think of a better way to phrase it.) Some of them are concerned about all the bad stuff that goes into the stuff we eat, some are concerned about the way we mass-produce and therefore mistreat the animals that provide us nourishment, and some are concerned about both.

All I know is that suddenly I'm hyper-aware of everything. I suspiciously eye the milk I'm drinking. When I go to the grocery store, I stare at the meat and chicken for a looooong time and feel a little guilty when I pick it up. I bite into an apple and wonder if it's actually poisoning me - like poor Snow White's was.

All this talk of ethical eating is making me wonder if God wants me to change my food habits. And this may sound terrible, but I really hope not. I like my junk food. I like Aldi. But maybe junk food, and Aldi, are a little bit evil?


Has anyone else thought about this issue?

My New Favorite... and Other Stuff

Sooo...I discovered last week that Aldi makes these awwwwwwwwwesome "homestyle" peanut butter cookies. They are soft and chewy and pretty much amazing. If you put one in the microwave for 8 seconds, it even tastes fresh-baked. I also discovered that Aldi makes a pretty delish version of Moose Tracks Ice Cream. I was afraid cheap ice cream = low PB cup ratio, but no... it's super yummy. Last night (after American Idol) I put them together. And... Oh. My. Word. Super, super goodness.

Obviously, I did not give up cookies and candy for Lent. (I bet if you know me, you would have guessed that before this post.) Mostly I didn't do it because I knew I wouldn't. I mean "wouldn't" in that I meant I could say that I would give up cookies and candy, but I'd never really mean it. And instead of spending extra energy focusing on my spiritual life, I'd probably just gripe about missing out on the sweets. So I didn't do it. I swear that's not a cop out answer. Because so far, the Lenten season has been good. I've been managing to find time in the day to slow down and spend some time with Jesus. I've been reading more, praying more, and reflecting more - which has been good (and challenging). And since I'm trying to "connect" more, I'm paying better attention in church on Sundays and at Bible Study on Thursday mornings. Consequently, I'm being challenged. I feel like every once in a while God decides to uncover a bunch of junk (read: sin) in my life - and now is one of those times. It probably started around Abigail's baptism, truth be told, and is continuing. I usually hate times like this because it makes me feel like I'm always the one messing up and D never has to deal with sin. I know that's not true, but it's how I feel. (That's a statement I make to my beloved all the time.) Right now, I don't mind so much. Maybe by the time Easter rolls around I will be a perfect person!


That said, I'd just like to add that there would have been some benefit to at least trying to forego the sugar. Bathing suit season is fast approaching, and I feel like I ought to staple a swimsuit to the bedroom wall to remind myself that come April (if we go to AZ to see Oma), I'll have to wear one. I don't even know where to shop for a new one (Suggestions?) All I have right now are maternity suits. And who wants to wear a maternity suit 10 months after your baby's born?

"Paul Newman was tall."

Have you ever been listening to the radio, only to have the music and/or commercial suddenly cut out and go to dead air? It happens, it seems, especially often on KLOVE (not that I, er, listen to KLOVE). When it happens, I always feel a bit awkward and embarrassed for the station. Kinda like when you're at a party and the conversation is going along trippingly, and then someone who is not as funny as he/she thinks he is suddenly decides to share a funny anecdote, only to have it flop. My friends in college used to have this sort of shrug thing they did whenever that happened to someone. It was bad.

Anyway, whenever I encounter dead air, I cringe. Do I switch the station? Wait a minute for the programming to return? I never know what to do. I don't want to hurt the radio station's feelings, but I'm making fun of them in my head in the midst of my discomfort. They should be more professional than that...

Anyway, that's how I feel about my blog right now. It's kinda embarrassing. You know, you commit to starting a blog, and then your life better be darn well exciting enough to post on a regular basis - and actually entertain readers. But yeah, my life is just that boring. I got nothin'. It's a bit awkward. But not posting is better than posting mundane details of my life. I'm sure I'll have something to say, soon.

Speaking of mundane details, Abigail managed to get up on her hands and knees 5 times today. Crawling is not so far away... And David has a gig in Bolingbrook on the 12th. And today it's freezing outside, so it's 63 degrees in my house. Yup.

Paul Newman was tall.

How Low Can You Go?

I am a compulsive list-maker. I don't think I have always been one, but the practice has grown out of my realization that I am extremely absent-minded. Seriously, thoughts fly through my head at such a rate that if I do not write something down immediately, it's gone. It doesn't matter what it is - an item for the grocery list, a task I have been meaning to do, a question for David, a thought for the blog, a decision about what's clean enough to wear that day - it comes and goes in seconds. So I have lists. Everywhere. And it helps.

I'm not one of those types that wants a big, expensive planner either. If I had one, I'd just have to remember to buy the expensive refills, and who wants to do that? Disposable stuff works better for me. If I were to receive in my Christmas stocking a pile of Post-it notes, markers, and gel pens, it would make my day. Right now my "planner" is an 80-cent yellow spiral notebook I bought at Target.

My list making is compulsive, and if I analyze it, it probably feeds my legalistic, type A personality. I write everything down - even sometimes a reminder to brush my teeth (which, come to think of it, I forgot this morning). If I make a list, and then I decide to do one or two things not on the list, I write them down later, just so I can cross them off. Sick, I know. But if I put a positive spin on my compulsion, I could say that writing lists helps me to prioritize my day, look at what is really important and what needs to get done. It helps me focus.Confession: I usually write "devotional time" down at the top of my list each day. (And you know what? When we are criticized at church occasionally for "having a devotional time so we can cross it off our lists" I, for one, do not find that to be such a terrible sin. I feel like I have practiced discipline.)

All that to say - I have had to drastically lower my expectations for today. It's almost one PM and I have accomplished very little. (To those who may raise an eyebrow at the fact that I am blogging, writing was on my to-do list today, so I am not wasting time. So there.) I do not like lowering my expectations. I hate to say it, but it's true. I want to do what I want to do, when I want to do it. But I find myself, over and over again now that Abigail is in our lives, changing my idea of how a day should go, and what I should manage to accomplish.

Case in point: today I have managed to get up, get dressed, feed her, do some dishes, write three emails, and blog. Still to do? Laundry, make the bed, exercise, type up notes for a church meeting, find the location for the H1N1 vaccinations, write notes to two friends, go grocery shopping at Aldi and Target, and start cleaning for the Thanksgiving weekend, and call two long-distance friends. Oh, and brush my teeth.

I am fully aware that (if I'm lucky) this list will take me several days to accomplish. But don't worry, readers. Brushing my teeth has moved to task #1. I'll start now.

Cookie Monster and Lost

When I'm at work, but not actually focused on my job, here are the kinds of things that happen:

Andrea and I were at lunch the other day. And Pat (the office admin) brought cookies and brownies to lunch – the Lofthouse super soft cookies with lots of frosting. Andrea exclaimed over the cookies, saying, “C is for Cookie! That’s good enough for me!”

I reminded her, “A cookie is a sometimes food. You know you cannot have them all the time.”

To which she replied, “You are right. A cookie for breakfast with my coffee. A cookie after lunch. And a cookie at three o’clock as a snack is not all the time. It is only sometimes.”

“Yes,” I nodded, “You are right. All the time is really a lot of time. A cookie for breakfast, after lunch, and as a snack is only three times in one day, which is certainly not ALL the time. To eat cookies ALL the time means you would have to eat cookies continuously, 24 hours a day.”

“You are right!” she said, and bit into a cookie.

Suddenly it seemed like Cookie Monster might not have such a bad deal after all.


Or a thought like this one pops up:

What if the people on the island on LOST had to repopulate the Earth? (Aside - David and I just started Season Two - no spoilers please!! I’m not saying I think this is a plot of the show, I was just thinking about it.) There are 43 people on the Island now. Assume there are roughly equal numbers of men and women. Because so many of them are strangers, if they had to repopulate the planet, could they? Is there enough genetic diversity? Or does the whole 6-degrees-of-separation thing that LOST has going on get in the way?

One thing's for sure. The new Earth would have some beautiful people. I've never seen such a collection of "normal yet supermodel-esque" genes. Really, what are the chances that 43 good looking people survive a plane crash? I don't think their lives are so rough... At least they have some pretty faces to look at while hiding from Smoky the Man Eating Monster and the Others.

"Idol"izing

I'm an Idol watcher. I have to confess, I love it. I know it's silly, commercialized, and probably rigged, but I look forward to it every season. They're cutting the first two people from the top 13 tonight. Jorge and Anoop are waiting with baited breath in the sidelines to see which one of them is getting booted tonight. They have to wait through a billion commercials, and a Kelly Clarkson song. It's gotta stink to be them. I'm a little sad they are the bottom two - I have a funny fondness for both of them. It's true they didn't do too well last night, but still...

Here's my Idol question for tonight, though. What's the deal with the single moms this season? Seriously. Maybe I'm super sensitized to it because of my job, but there are two women in the top 13 with kids around the age of four. One is 21 and single, and the other 22 and divorced. I hope America doesn't choose one of them as our next pop icon.

Musical Moments

Is it just me, or does your life feel much more like a movie when you're in your car listening to music at top volume? I've held that belief a long time. I'll put a CD on in the car, look out my window, and suddenly, I'm in a movie. Sometimes the scene is sunny and cheerful, sometimes rainy and pensive. It doesn't really matter. I enjoy it because I seriously imagine that my life has its own personal soundtrack.

The culprit this week? I was listening to 93 XRT early in the morning on the way to school, (sunny, blue skies) and they indulged me by playing Dire Straits, "Money For Nothing". (I know, weird, isn't it?) The minute it started, I was inordinately happy.

Speaking of music - you know what else makes me ridiculously happy? The fact that the Beatles can rhyme the words "meter" and "Rita". (Points to you if you guess the album I was listening to today.)