Lenten Indecision

Lent is kind of a new concept for me. Growing up, I was Catholic/Lutheran, and not much good at being either. It was in high school, at a non-denominational church, where I first heard and believed the gospel. Being a typical "seeker-friendly" church, they didn't follow the church calendar or any kind of liturgy or tradition. So, in my mind Lent = Bad Catholic Practice Involving Unnecessary Suffering.

And maybe, for Catholics, that's what it is. And perhaps it isn't. I don't really know. But I do know this. I am now married to a good, reformed Presbyterian. We attend a good, reformed Presbyterian church. And we mostly follow the church calendar. (Well, our worship leader and a lot of the associate pastors enjoy the meaning behind the tradition. I'm not so sure our pastor, with his Baptist roots, actually does. But anyway.) I have discovered that Lent is not "Bad". People talk about Lent. And they give up things during Lent. And they make an extra effort to focus on Christ in preparation of Easter. It's not about suffering. It's about drawing nearer to God.

So now I'm pondering - what do I give up for Lent in an effort to draw nearer to Jesus?

First I considered giving up cookies and candy. Not because I'm using Lent as a weight-loss plan, but because I find myself munching on them all day long - eating sweets has become a comforting habit. I still show a modicum of control throughout my day (I'm not eating half a package of cookies and a half a bag of M&Ms in one day), but I could go without. I could find my comfort in time with the Lord.

But I thought a little more. And then I began to wonder. What about giving up envy? Or comparing myself? Or discontentment? Or my greedy materialism (aka: weekly Target runs)? These are mostly internal struggles. I ought to be thankful. I ought to be comparing my life with Christ's, not others. I ought to be content whatever my circumstances. (Incidentally, when I look at my life, I wonder why I am not this way - I have absolutely no excuse not to be.) How do I give up something immaterial for Lent? It would probably be better, and actually help me focus on Christ as I'd like to.

But it's easier to forego the Oreos and M&Ms.