Hallelujah

It finally feels like summer! Hot, sticky, heavy, slow-down-to-a-crawl, summer. Barefoot, black-bottomed feet, fire-up-the-grill summer.

Today was the kind of humid that makes every paper in the house feel like Kleenex, and turns all your cookies turn to mush in 30 seconds. A tantrum of a thunderstorm marched its way through town this morning after church and blew away, leaving behind an 85 degree, mercilessly sunny day. It's eight o'clock and still 80 degrees. Kids are playing Marco-Polo in the pool across the street. Dragonflies are zipping over the pond. The bullfrogs are arguing. The sun is moseying in the west, turning the sky a burning orange. I just sat on my back porch and ate a cold avocado sprinkled with salt and lime, and drank a beer. Even in the shade, I was sweating.

I couldn't be happier.

Anyway.

June 21st. That's the day. That's the move-in day, Lord willing. D and I sat down a few nights ago and eked out the most important jobs to finish before moving in, and we realized when push came to shove that there wasn't much more we needed to do. So on Friday and Saturday we finished up two big jobs (cleaning the floors and painting all the trim in the house) and we called it quits. For now.

I'm itching to put things in boxes and get moving. I have a feeling the process will look a little nuts - a lot of back-and-forth. I'm sure we'll take car loads of junk over this week, simply because now that we've deemed the house livable, we want to live in it. We will also box up and wait for the actual move weekend. We haven't decided yet whether we will get movers or not. It's a busy weekend for many, and our friends have already helped us so much... it's hard to think of asking for more. We'll see.


On another note entirely, Friday was my last full day of school. What a funny mixture of feelings I dealt with that day. The kids come on Monday to pick up their report cards, but are only with me for five minutes. So, for all intents and purposes, I'm done. Done being an elementary school teacher. I start my new job on Tuesday morning.

I'm terrified.

Friday was awful. I cried a lot (in private, where no one could see me). Yes, I have often hated my job over the past four years. But at least now I'm familiar with that enemy. And in spite of all the difficulties, I have made friends, and I have loved some of my students. I know my weaknesses and faults in my job, but I know how to work in spite of them.

This is the unknown. The unknown has always frightened me more than anything. (I don't know how I ever had the courage to go overseas to Turkey or even to Spain. Really.) What if I don't connect with junior high and high school kids? What if my language skills fail me? What if my job description is beyond me? What if my new colleagues and I don't connect? What if I get lost every time I have to visit a new school? These are the questions that ran through my head on Friday, causing the tears, I suppose.

Today is better. I know that the transition may be rough, but that's okay. Because I know that God is in control, that He is good, and that He had this plan in mind for a long time. (Please don't anyone email me to remind me of that. I know that.) I do believe. If you want to encourage me, pray for my unbelief.