I Am That Mom

I will never be as cool - or artistic - or chill - as I would like to be. I am realizing this.

Several factors are working against me.

Namely, the minivan. I should have known it when we bought it - I did know it when we bought it. Minivan=Nerdliness. I am so that mom driving around. When all I had was my Nissan, I used to sneer at slow minivans, lumbering away from stoplights, filling all the spaces in the parking lot at Danada. Now I am one of those. I can't park the dang thing, I can't back it up, and I certainly can't keep the thing going the speed limit. Now everyone passes me on the road. Last night I tried to go to a friend's house for dinner, and I accidentally drove the thing up onto the curb and parked partly on the grass. I didn't realize it until I got out to take Abigail out of the back seat, but I was too frustrated (lazy) to move it. I crossed my fingers and prayed no one would see me, but alas - a woman pulled right up behind me. She got out of her tiny little car, stood there and just watched me curiously, with a bit of knowing judgment in her eyes, as I wrestled the car seat out of the van and limped up to my friend's front door.

My entertainment choices are fighting me, too. Sci-fi is out to get me. I've been tricked into watching a lot more since David came around, and I find myself liking it. (It's like predestination - this inexorable call upon my life. I will be a sci-fi fan... I will...) However, sometimes I rebel. My husband is currently making me watch (sigh) Battlestar Gallactica. (My family probably has no idea the TV show even exists, and I am sure my friends are mocking me right now.) I never thought I'd watch it. Once upon a time, D and I were watching The Office, and Dwight made a comment about Battlestar. Until then, I had never heard of it - but Vid had. He finished Dwight's comment before Dwight did. (I was more than a little concerned that my husband and Dwight had anything at all in common.) However, Battlestar has been recommended to us by more than a few friends - all of whom I respect and trust. We are currently watching Season 2.5 (I think). Edward James Olmos (from Stand and Deliver) is cast as the Admiral. He's a good actor. But so far, I am not impressed. If I didn't think my friends were brilliant and wonderful, and if I didn't trust them as much as I do, I would have abandoned it a season ago. And I am aware of my nerdliness factor increasing.

Finally, biology is working against me. As in (let's be honest, folks), I have very little talent. Only a few things interest me artistically - writing and photography. (I used to sing, but then I married David. I'm more than happy to let that delusion of a hobby go.) Writing creatively doesn't happen as often as I'd like, and really, is rather a disappointment when I do attempt it. I don't honestly have much of an eye for photography - though I'm convinced I could learn, if I had some time - or motivation - or money for a class. And I'm just not one of those Audrey Hepburn types - you know - one of those people with natural style or presence.

I don't say this because I want you to join me in a pity party. Please don't. (And please, Ma, no comments!) Nor do I need encouraging comments from my 5 or 6 readers. Really, that's not what I'm going for. I'm just being honest. Hasn't any one of you ever realized you're not the kind of person you admire? I'm realizing who I am. I know hip, artistic, chill people. I am not one. I'm just a wanna-be. And I think I might be okay with that.