This Little Piggy

I have found over and over again in the past year or so that people expect me to know things I do not know. At first it made me angry. But now it's happened so many times, I'm beginning to think maybe I should. At least, the way they communicate with me, I feel like I should. I feel like I have the word "STUPID" stamped in red on my forehead.

Take today, for example. David and I need to get vaccinated from the Swine Flu. Abigail is under a year, and nursing, so we're considered high risk. That much I know. Have I researched Swine Flu at all? Not really, except to recognize symptoms. And do I understand how vaccinations work (other than they put some of the virus into your system)? No. So sue me.

This afternoon I called the doctor's office to find out about scheduling an appointment. I left a message stating who I was and that my husband and I were interested in getting vaccinated.

An hour later I get a return message on my voicemail, "Hello Mrs. Yeager. All we have here at Dr. Santi's office is the nasal vaccination, not the injection. Thank you." Click.

Soooo... what does that mean? (And of course, you all, being grown ups, already know. But I DID NOT.)

I called back. Here's how the conversation went as best I can remember:

Me: "Hi, this is Brittany Yeager returning your call. I, um, guess I don't know what the difference is between the nasal vaccination and the injectable one. Can you tell me?"

Nurse: "Well, all we have is the nasal spray. Although, Dr. S says if you are healthy, you could risk getting it."

Me: "Risk getting it? Why is it a risk?"

Nurse: "Well, you would have to see how you feel afterwards. There's a window of time in which you could come down with H1N1."

Me: "Well, my husband and I have a five month old, so how are we supposed to get vaccinated and not put our daughter at risk?"

Nurse: "Oh, yes, well. You have a five month old. The nasal spray is a live virus."

Me: "Which means...?"

Nurse: "Well, it's a live virus."

(Suddenly the light goes on in my brain.)

Me: "Are you telling me then that the live virus is a risk because it's possibly contagious? That I could pass it onto my child? But the injectable version of the vaccine isn't live, and therefore safer for the family?"

Nurse: "Yes."

Me: "So, does Dr. S recommend we come there and get the nasal vaccination, or should we go to the health department?"

Nurse: "You have a five month old? You should go to the health department. They have the injectable vaccine. It would be better."

Me: "Okay. Thank you."

Click.

So, maybe it's time for me to admit I'm not as smart as I think I am. I should have known this stuff. I should have researched it. I should have understood it. Which means, I guess, that not only am I not that smart, but I guess I'm kinda lazy, too.

Or maybe people don't know how to answer straightforward questions.