How Low Can You Go?

I am a compulsive list-maker. I don't think I have always been one, but the practice has grown out of my realization that I am extremely absent-minded. Seriously, thoughts fly through my head at such a rate that if I do not write something down immediately, it's gone. It doesn't matter what it is - an item for the grocery list, a task I have been meaning to do, a question for David, a thought for the blog, a decision about what's clean enough to wear that day - it comes and goes in seconds. So I have lists. Everywhere. And it helps.

I'm not one of those types that wants a big, expensive planner either. If I had one, I'd just have to remember to buy the expensive refills, and who wants to do that? Disposable stuff works better for me. If I were to receive in my Christmas stocking a pile of Post-it notes, markers, and gel pens, it would make my day. Right now my "planner" is an 80-cent yellow spiral notebook I bought at Target.

My list making is compulsive, and if I analyze it, it probably feeds my legalistic, type A personality. I write everything down - even sometimes a reminder to brush my teeth (which, come to think of it, I forgot this morning). If I make a list, and then I decide to do one or two things not on the list, I write them down later, just so I can cross them off. Sick, I know. But if I put a positive spin on my compulsion, I could say that writing lists helps me to prioritize my day, look at what is really important and what needs to get done. It helps me focus.Confession: I usually write "devotional time" down at the top of my list each day. (And you know what? When we are criticized at church occasionally for "having a devotional time so we can cross it off our lists" I, for one, do not find that to be such a terrible sin. I feel like I have practiced discipline.)

All that to say - I have had to drastically lower my expectations for today. It's almost one PM and I have accomplished very little. (To those who may raise an eyebrow at the fact that I am blogging, writing was on my to-do list today, so I am not wasting time. So there.) I do not like lowering my expectations. I hate to say it, but it's true. I want to do what I want to do, when I want to do it. But I find myself, over and over again now that Abigail is in our lives, changing my idea of how a day should go, and what I should manage to accomplish.

Case in point: today I have managed to get up, get dressed, feed her, do some dishes, write three emails, and blog. Still to do? Laundry, make the bed, exercise, type up notes for a church meeting, find the location for the H1N1 vaccinations, write notes to two friends, go grocery shopping at Aldi and Target, and start cleaning for the Thanksgiving weekend, and call two long-distance friends. Oh, and brush my teeth.

I am fully aware that (if I'm lucky) this list will take me several days to accomplish. But don't worry, readers. Brushing my teeth has moved to task #1. I'll start now.